Got hair?

It's that time of the month again for me: I'm due for a haircut.
Getting a haircut isn't an enjoyable ­experience. First, it costs money. I got my last two cuts in different cities – something I regret doing. For one, I was in Montreal attending a bachelor party when I went to the mall to get a pre-party trim. After ­finishing my cut the girl at the counter asked for $30. I was shocked. Clearly reading my terrible poker face she said, "Welcome to downtown Montreal."
But my French Canadian cut didn't ­prepare me for what I encountered four weeks ago in Toronto.
As the best man for a wedding, I wanted to look sharp. So I went to a upscale ­barbershop in Toronto's trendy King West district to get my hair did a few hours before the ceremony.
This time a wash, cut and style set me back a whopping $50 – another costly welcome to a Canadian metrolopolis.
Note to self: the smaller the city, the cheaper the price for this dreaded service.
But it's not just the monetary aspect of haircuts that leaves me sour.
I'm not a fan of the obligatory small talk with the stylist. It's always the same conversation, "What do you do? How was your weekend?"
And the worst question, "What do you want me to do with your hair?"
I never know what to say to this query. I'm sure I don't want to leave with a Justin ­Bieber 'doo or look like an enlisted man, but I'm not exactly sure what I want, either. The ­hairdresser is the expert, so I want them to make a decision. It's like going to the doctor for a physical and the physician asking, "What do you want me to do?"
But the worst part about haircuts is I'm locked in a never-ending cycle. I get a haircut; it looks bad for a week, then it looks decent for about 10 days before it goes back to looking overgrown for another week, and then I have to repeat the process again. I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.
I wish my health plan covered haircuts – that would be great.
Sometimes I think I chose the wrong medium of journalism. Many television reporters get complimentary cuts to ensure they look good on the air. However, as an invisible newspaper scribe, my hair isn't a priority in the newsroom.
But I guess I really can't complain – the alternative to needing frequent haircuts isn't so great either.